Arpquillnill is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, omnipotent tapir.

Arpquillnill created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Arpquillnill, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Arpquillnill, it will curse you with boils.

Arpquillnill's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Arpquillnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always obey Arpquillnill's priests.

5. Do not covet oxen.