Tonkyartbeg Kinveencad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unselfish snail.

Tonkyartbeg Kinveencad created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkyartbeg Kinveencad, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tonkyartbeg Kinveencad, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Tonkyartbeg Kinveencad's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tonkyartbeg Kinveencad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never feed lentils to rats while wearing gray shoes.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Tonkyartbeg Kinveencad loves cats, so they must be honoured.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.