Matfarxem is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, smart gorilla.

Matfarxem created the Virgo Supercluster eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matfarxem, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Matfarxem, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Matfarxem's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Matfarxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Snakes are not to be trusted.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Fast once a month.