Canmotquamxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever unicorn.

Canmotquamxuck created the Milkyway two years ago.

If you believe in Canmotquamxuck, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Canmotquamxuck, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Canmotquamxuck's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Canmotquamxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Canmotquamxuck loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Hide if nine snakes approach from the south.