Hivbidflam is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, duplicitous spider.

Hivbidflam created the planet Saturn five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivbidflam, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hivbidflam, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Hivbidflam's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Hivbidflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

5. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.