Lenlakdav is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, pitiless elephant.

Lenlakdav created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Lenlakdav, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lenlakdav, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Lenlakdav's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Lenlakdav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never hurt manatees.

5. Never paint your head red.