Quimstragbim is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, temperamental jaguar.

Quimstragbim created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimstragbim, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quimstragbim, she will remove you from existence.

Quimstragbim's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Quimstragbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always obey Quimstragbim's priests.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never wear coats.