Sompaswod is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, confident clam.

Sompaswod created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sompaswod, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sompaswod, she will send you a sign.

Sompaswod's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Sompaswod's Holy Commandments

1. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Horses are not to be trusted.

4. Hide if three shrews approach from the east.

5. Sompaswod loves ants, so they must be respected.