Jinquillhak is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, deceitful shrew.

Jinquillhak created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinquillhak, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jinquillhak, she will turn you into a rat.

Jinquillhak's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Jinquillhak's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never hurt doves.

3. Run away from violet rats, for they are unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

5. Always wear cyan.