Gabdumzod Cebfabmet is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, temperamental warg.

Gabdumzod Cebfabmet created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabdumzod Cebfabmet, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gabdumzod Cebfabmet, she will turn you into a rock.

Gabdumzod Cebfabmet's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Gabdumzod Cebfabmet's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet aardvarks, for they are unholy.

2. Gabdumzod Cebfabmet must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Run away if six ants approach from the east.