Narlgamjig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, prudent walrus.

Narlgamjig created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlgamjig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Narlgamjig, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Narlgamjig's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Narlgamjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always look after injured rats.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never eat figs.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.