Pintunarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, sage beaver.

Pintunarn created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pintunarn, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pintunarn, she will strike you with lightening.

Pintunarn's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Pintunarn's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Worship no other gods but Pintunarn.

5. Do not make images of living things.