Cabmintun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, thoughtless eagle.

Cabmintun created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabmintun, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cabmintun, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Cabmintun's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Cabmintun's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cabmintun.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not commit murder.