Komtonkyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-knowing parrot.

Komtonkyarp created the Sunflower Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Komtonkyarp, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Komtonkyarp, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Komtonkyarp's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Komtonkyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Always wear black.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.