Figjapflamfidnill is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, deceitful wyrm.

Figjapflamfidnill created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Figjapflamfidnill, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Figjapflamfidnill, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Figjapflamfidnill's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Figjapflamfidnill's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Figjapflamfidnill.

2. Figjapflamfidnill must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Run away if six porpoises approach from the west.

5. Do not take Figjapflamfidnill's name in vain.