Barnripbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, omnipotent wyrm.

Barnripbarn created the Cigar Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Barnripbarn, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Barnripbarn, it will destroy your home solar system.

Barnripbarn's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Barnripbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.