Moncarxuck Cudkamfodfatlogcar Nuttitdob is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ill-tempered newt.

Moncarxuck Cudkamfodfatlogcar Nuttitdob created bats seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Moncarxuck Cudkamfodfatlogcar Nuttitdob, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Moncarxuck Cudkamfodfatlogcar Nuttitdob, it will boil you in a big pot.

Moncarxuck Cudkamfodfatlogcar Nuttitdob's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Moncarxuck Cudkamfodfatlogcar Nuttitdob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peas.

2. You must pray to Moncarxuck Cudkamfodfatlogcar Nuttitdob nine times a day.

3. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Moncarxuck Cudkamfodfatlogcar Nuttitdob on top of important buildings.

4. Run away from turquoise moths, for they are unholy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.