Afpitken is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, capable weasel.

Afpitken created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Afpitken, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Afpitken, he will turn you into a duck.

Afpitken's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Afpitken's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never eat gooseberries.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.