Quimgetaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unsympathetic capybara.

Quimgetaf created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimgetaf, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quimgetaf, he will turn you into a plant.

Quimgetaf's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Quimgetaf's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Cats are not to be trusted.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quimgetaf.

4. Always help aardvarks in need.

5. Always stare at clouds.