Podarpcan is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, loving centaur.

Podarpcan created water eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Podarpcan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Podarpcan, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Podarpcan's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Podarpcan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn foxes for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear violet clothing.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not hurt snails.