Gadtailbon is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, generous porpoise.

Gadtailbon created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadtailbon, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gadtailbon, he will refuse to believe in you.

Gadtailbon's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Gadtailbon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat lemons.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.