Linkaptag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, egotistical rhinoceros.

Linkaptag created the Sun four years ago.

If you believe in Linkaptag, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Linkaptag, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Linkaptag's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Linkaptag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to aardvarks while wearing white boots.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Always help shrews in need.

4. Do not hurt goats.

5. Do not drink alcohol.