Quafgemgut is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, smart dragon.

Quafgemgut created the planet Mars five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafgemgut, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quafgemgut, it will curse you with boils.

Quafgemgut's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Quafgemgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. You must love Quafgemgut.

4. Always treat moths with great respect.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.