Satrotflam Vidgiggil Gepmif is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, generous penguin.

Satrotflam Vidgiggil Gepmif created snails nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Satrotflam Vidgiggil Gepmif, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Satrotflam Vidgiggil Gepmif, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Satrotflam Vidgiggil Gepmif's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Satrotflam Vidgiggil Gepmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not speak about tomatoes.
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