Garlopdud Cusshatmut is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, stupid squirrel.

Garlopdud Cusshatmut created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garlopdud Cusshatmut, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Garlopdud Cusshatmut, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Garlopdud Cusshatmut's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Garlopdud Cusshatmut's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three rats approach from the south.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not speak about peanuts.

4. Never wear black shorts.

5. Never feed parsnips to cats while wearing white skirts.