Satkiklik is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonourable hyena.

Satkiklik created life nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satkiklik, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Satkiklik, he will curse you with boils.

Satkiklik's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Satkiklik's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Satkiklik on top of all buildings.

5. Always help sick birds.