Yikcutsom is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, fussy hippopotamus.

Yikcutsom created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yikcutsom, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yikcutsom, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Yikcutsom's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yikcutsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always help sick snails.

5. Do not hurt aardvarks.