Kimcep is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, tiresome chinchilla.

Kimcep created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimcep, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kimcep, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kimcep's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Kimcep's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never skip in the presence of ants.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Put Kimcep first in all things.