Lagfabciss is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, happy dragonfly.

Lagfabciss created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Lagfabciss, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lagfabciss, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Lagfabciss' most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Lagfabciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. You must love Lagfabciss.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never wear kilts.