Paktinwat is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, prudent faun.

Paktinwat created the cosmos eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Paktinwat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Paktinwat, he will curse you with boils.

Paktinwat's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Paktinwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help goats.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Paktinwat must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Retreat if three badgers approach from the north.

5. Never talk about fire.