Narlwannil is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, overgenerous manatee.

Narlwannil created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narlwannil, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Narlwannil, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Narlwannil's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Narlwannil's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never paint your head green.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never feed oranges to horses while wearing turquoise kilts.