Vonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, tranquil gorilla.

Vonk created the Andromeda Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonk, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vonk, he will turn you into a frog.

Vonk's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Vonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Vonk's name in vain.

2. Hide if six mites approach from the north.

3. You must never eat oranges.

4. Hide from brown squirrels for they are unholy.

5. Never look at asteroids.