Fitsafnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, cheerful walrus.

Fitsafnurl created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitsafnurl, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Fitsafnurl, she will torture you forever.

Fitsafnurl's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fitsafnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are not to be trusted.

2. Never mention hamsters.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fitsafnurl.