Gumfag is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, charitable shark.

Gumfag created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumfag, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gumfag, he will send minions to preach to you.

Gumfag's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gumfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Gumfag loves doves, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Respect your elders.