Wapflisquim is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic warg.

Wapflisquim created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapflisquim, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wapflisquim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Wapflisquim's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Wapflisquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wapflisquim.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. You must pray to Wapflisquim eight times a day.