Kinflapbum is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, prudent giraffe.

Kinflapbum created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinflapbum, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kinflapbum, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Kinflapbum's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Kinflapbum's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kinflapbum.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never wear magenta skirts.