Veennellpid is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tiresome goat.

Veennellpid created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veennellpid, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Veennellpid, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Veennellpid's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Veennellpid's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.