Lapbarnbus is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, weak wyvern.

Lapbarnbus created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapbarnbus, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lapbarnbus, she will turn you into a dog.

Lapbarnbus' most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Lapbarnbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

2. You must pray to Lapbarnbus nine times a day.

3. Never paint your face black.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.