Bonkdosstom is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, smart bee.

Bonkdosstom created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkdosstom, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bonkdosstom, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bonkdosstom's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bonkdosstom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bonkdosstom.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never feed onions to rats while wearing mauve ear rings.