Jamflisquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, resourceful whale.

Jamflisquaf created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamflisquaf, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jamflisquaf, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jamflisquaf's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Jamflisquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick horses.

2. Always treat snakes with great respect.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always help turtles in need.

5. Never wear corsets.