Quim is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unjust squirrel.

Quim created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quim, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Quim's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Quim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

4. Never mention nematodes.

5. Always pray immersed in water.