Farncubfummet Tencitfed is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, emotional zebra.

Farncubfummet Tencitfed created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farncubfummet Tencitfed, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Farncubfummet Tencitfed, he will turn you into a tree.

Farncubfummet Tencitfed's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Farncubfummet Tencitfed's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Farncubfummet Tencitfed.

2. Feed all hungry tapirs.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never paint your head green.

5. Do not kill otters.