Arfontwig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tiresome cat.

Arfontwig created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfontwig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arfontwig, he will turn you into a hamster.

Arfontwig's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Arfontwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Arfontwig.