Komtiklarn is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, clever turtle.

Komtiklarn created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Komtiklarn, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Komtiklarn, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Komtiklarn's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Komtiklarn's Holy Commandments

1. Komtiklarn loves birds, so they must be respected.

2. Never mention eagles.

3. You must never eat bananas.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not shave your back.