Titvegduss Gabbabgunlig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, happy ferret.

Titvegduss Gabbabgunlig created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Titvegduss Gabbabgunlig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Titvegduss Gabbabgunlig, she will turn you into a snail.

Titvegduss Gabbabgunlig's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Titvegduss Gabbabgunlig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Do not hurt snakes.

5. Do not make images of living things.