Narlarnnel is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unjust raccoon.

Narlarnnel created the planet Venus eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlarnnel, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Narlarnnel, he will turn you into a duck.

Narlarnnel's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Narlarnnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Do not take Narlarnnel's name in vain.