Fetkiksag is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, irritating dog.

Fetkiksag created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Fetkiksag, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Fetkiksag, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fetkiksag's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Fetkiksag's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Feed all hungry doves.