Nurtnutthom is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, annoying mink.

Nurtnutthom created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtnutthom, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nurtnutthom, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nurtnutthom's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Nurtnutthom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Nurtnutthom on top of all buildings.

2. Worship no other gods but Nurtnutthom.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never look at black holes.