Nigmifgut is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, awesome grasshopper.

Nigmifgut created an atom eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nigmifgut, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nigmifgut, it will think nothing of it.

Nigmifgut's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Nigmifgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Never feed grapes to rats while wearing pink shoes.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.