Bemfatbig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish dolphin.

Bemfatbig created bats three million years ago.

If you believe in Bemfatbig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bemfatbig, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bemfatbig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bemfatbig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails.

2. Never wear trousers.

3. Do not speak about aubergines.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bemfatbig.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.